Here's the thing: of course I have issues with my self esteem. Show me a woman who claims she doesn't, and I'll show you a liar.
For your enjoyment, here is a (partial) list of things I have a problem with when it comes to my body and me as a person:
- I have been struggling with my weight since the mid-1990s. From my mother telling me that the last time I looked good was in October of 1996, to working in the fashion industry, to trying to shop for clothing, I have not been satisfied with my weight for over a decade.
- My breasts are large. Like, can't-button-a-shirt large.
- My nasal labial folds are getting more pronounced.
- My eyes are small.
- I'm lazy.
- I'm dispassionate.
- I'm selfish.
However, and this is the important bit, none of these things matter. Because I am generally an upbeat person, with a huge laugh, an amazing group of friends. I have been told time and time again that I am too self-aggrandizing when I say things like, "I'm amazing," or "My life is awesome." Even worse, I've been told that I'm faking it and that I'm actually miserable.
But you know what? I'm not. I truly love my life. I am working to change myself every day. So what if I like nice clothing? So what if I lust after the newest Chanel nail polish?
My life rules. So does yours. I like you. I like me. Anyone that tells you that your life is somehow less than you know it to be can, in the words of my mother (who isn't always awful), take a long walk off a short pier.
Now, I'm going to get on my bike, go and pick up a bottle of wine, and have dinner with my friend and talk about our goals. So there.